Mountains.... Journey to a Better Parent.

The last four years has been a long road with many many mountains. We started off at the bottom of the tallest mountain at birth, we climbed that one the hard way, but once we reached the top at 4 weeks old we slid down the other side quite easily. The mountains got smaller in the first 12 months, with only a few issues, some minor weight issues and difficulty feeding. The second and third year saw the mountains get taller, not as big as the one at birth but bigger than the first 12 months. We have waded through the sea of specialists and therapist and have finally settled into some kind of routine. I feel relieved that the mountains here on in will be smaller compared the the last few years, but I fear that there might be more of them as we prepare Brendan for school.

There is no time to sit back and think of myself, there's no time to sit on the couch and relax to think things through. With so many little mountains in our way we are preparing to cross several at once. If Brendan's only issue was PDD-NOS then my life would be a whole lot easier.

The past four years has always been about my boys, it always will be about them. But this year I am going to make time for me. One of my goals is to get more help with parenting Brendan, to look at disciplines and better management (ok, that's probably not the best word....) of him. I don't like the parent I am, I never wanted to be like this, but I have no idea what else I am supposed to do. This year I want to become a better parent.